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Rules for dating my

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

That is, a tongue in cheek "How can this be happening to me?

You learn what to do on a date following step by step instructions.

You learn what to say when you walk up to meet her, things that actually are proven to work.

So I was absolutely delighted to find out that he was coming out with a full length book.

The book is kind of a funny how to manual and running commentary on the care and feeding of two teenage daughters and a pre-teen boy.

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Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

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