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Today more than ever before, we’re faced with a never-ending buffet of opinions and advice that has something to say about everything and yet lets us choose the answer we want.We won’t have trouble finding an answer (or a dozen answers) to any of our questions in relationships.They stepped in when I was spending too much time with a girlfriend or started neglecting other important areas of my life.They raised a flag when a relationship seemed unhealthy.These people know you as a sinner, and sinners who are never being confronted or frustrated by inconvenient truths are sinners drifting further from God, not towards him.The truth is that we all need a third wheel — in life and in dating — people who truly know us and love us, and who want what’s best for us, even when it’s not what we want in the moment.Most people will float along with you because they’re excited for you, but you need a lot more than excitement right now — you have plenty of that yourself.

The advice we choose might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at church, or a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on Pinterest.For many of us, if we’re honest, it really doesn’t matter who’s offering the advice as long as it confirms what we thought or wanted in the first place.We think we’re leaning on others as we wade into all the material online, but we’re often just surrendering to our own cravings and ignorance.They knew where I had fallen before in sexual purity, and they weren’t afraid to ask questions to protect me.They have relentlessly pointed me to Jesus, even when they knew it might upset me — reminding me not to put my hope in any relationship, to pursue patience and purity, and to communicate and lead well.

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I could go on, and if you’re a part of almost any kind of Christian community, you probably can too.

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